


Reflections

by hazk



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Miscommunication, Retrospective, Writing Exercise, vague writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-06 03:26:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10324583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazk/pseuds/hazk
Summary: A lifetime is meant to last.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Writing exercise in preparations for "chase", a role reversal fic I'm writing for a friend. This was originally intended for the Victuuri week (Day 1: Yuuri, Confessions) and is a very rare oneshot for me...

Living together. They were living together. Hours turned to days and days turned to weeks.

Victor didn’t leave with the other Yuri to go back to Russia, and really was taking the season off to be his coach.

Watching him eat, laugh and skate felt all too private. But he was here to stay – Victor was here for him, and him alone.

Victor wanted them to share this year and he didn’t know just how to let his coach know how much he relished every moment. Lost, he let the skating do the talking even if he wanted there to be words.

Yuuri wasn’t sure his heart could handle it.

 

* * *

 

He expected it to end. Everything ends, especially something taken straight from his dreams. Something like this wasn’t meant for him.

He had finally met his hero, the legend of the ice. Although not skating against one another, it was so much more in every terrifying and endearing way to have Victor stay as his coach instead.

He was the first person to have Victor’s full attention like this, first to have him watch his every move, listen to his every word, noting every breath he took. It didn't take long for him to realize that Victor wasn’t quite like his image, the legend built on a mirage which he was allowed to briefly see through.

It was confusing how quickly they fell into a routine. It was heart-breaking how soon he expected it all to fall apart.

Yuuri wasn’t prepared for a lifetime.

 

* * *

 

“Can I… ask something?”

“Of course!” Victor spun around to face him with a smile. His coach seemed always prepared to pick up the words he fully expected, and maybe even wanted to, go unnoticed.

“I am just, uh, wondering… How long you will…”

As usual, the question was there even without all of it being said out loud. He didn’t know if he could ever be prepared to hear the answer if he was to allow Victor to address him in complete honesty.

“As long as you will have me.”

The reply to half-said words remained the same as always, only the meaning shifting ever so slightly the closer they became. It was a fact but his mind kept screaming that he was wrong, he has to have it all wrong.

Both of them hoped that they shared the same answers to the same questions. Neither were ever said out loud.

Yuuri wanted him to stay.

 

* * *

 

The weather continued to be beautiful. No storms were brewing and he couldn’t stop smiling. Rinse and repeat.

He was more talented than ever – no, that wasn’t quite true. He was more confident, more determined, more in his own spirit than he had been for a long time now.

He knew what he was skating for, he knew who he wanted to hold on to. That is the confession he wanted to make, and so he did.

Unable to address Victor face to face, strangers had to relay his message live through the television screen.

Yuuri didn’t want him to go.

 

* * *

 

“If I win -”

“Not if, when! You will win”, Victor cheered, making him smile and fondly shake his head at his coach’s antics.

“I know, I feel like I have already begun…”

Victor tilted his head curiously, a knowing glint in his eyes and a rare, almost shy twitch to his smile. “The feeling is mutual. But there is a long way to go, still!”

“How long?” he asked, leaning against the rink as he drank some water. His eyes remained steadily on Victor’s, reading him through his own barely contained desperation.

Victor chuckled and looked away. It was tiresome, worrisome, exciting how they avoided the truth.

Yuuri needed to hear those words soon.

 

* * *

 

Skating was… It was more or less about life and love, as Victor would say. Metaphors were fun, skating even more so. It was something they shared, competitively but on the same side for now. It was a way to reach out to even greater lengths.

For him, the best part of their arrangement turned out to be the knowledge that someone was always there, always appreciating, always willing to push you towards new achievements. It was intoxicating to know you were being heard and seen for all you had to offer.

But most importantly, skating was a language only those devoted to it could fully understand. The two of them were able to construct whispers only meant for each other to hear. They did this often.

Of course, there was another side to that as well: Skating together yet apart was a fight without an end but with an obvious conclusion still in sight. There was no forever to competing, no forever beyond that one certainty.

There was no forever to the routine they had built for themselves. The routine would need to be broken.

Yuuri knew what he had to do.

 

* * *

 

“I want to… I want to stay with you.”

Those words and more needed to be said out loud. Instead, they were avoided with a blush and a poorly disguised proposal that he accepted and allowed with a clench in his heart and a laugh on his lips as he ring was put on his finger.

Yuuri's confession was built around the ring, and the ring had a pair just alike. A lifetime was more important than anything else, a lifetime is meant to last.

In silence, he admitted his fears and Yuuri admitted his own. Their eyes confessed that their wishes had always been the same but the necessary words still took their time. It wasn't perfect and mistakes would be made, tears following soon after.

Skating was what they used to reach out to each other, in the end. It was a language they shared and were able to scream with at the top of their lungs.

At first he watched Yuuri skate, later joining him on the ice.

They skated together under the eyes of the world as they had planned they would. And later they would compete, still on the same side but with a newfound promise.

Their routine will change as many times as it needs to, but for now it was enough to have the rings with their true meaning finally being said out loud. Everyone could hear it, everyone knew: Yuuri was with him to stay.

Victor wasn’t sure his heart could handle it.

 


End file.
